18 WhatsApp Groups and a Moldy Lunchbox: Avoiding Back-to-School Digital Burnout

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Season: Q4 2026

Back to School

Article by Sarah Coren, PhD

As a child, I often looked forward to the start of a new school year. Sure, it meant the carefree, sun-soaked days of summer were coming to an end, but it also meant a lot of exciting newness - new shiny pens, new clothes, new classmates, new beginnings. Now as a parent, the back-to-school season includes these same themes - supplies, schedules, and routines. But there’s another less obvious seasonal transition worth paying attention to: how much time we are spending on screens and the insidious increase in invisible labor.

While we’re simultaneously feeling nostalgic about the growth of our children and cheerleading optimism for a meaningful year ahead, we’re also on the clock to grind through innumerable tasks. Signing up for extracurricular activities, coordinating carpools, adjusting sleep schedules, gathering supplies, communicating with new teachers and parents, getting to know new classmates, preparing lunches–oh, and checking last year’s lunch boxes for mold (anyone else…?)--I’m exhausted just thinking about it. 

We live in a screen-centered, interconnected world that never stops pinging. And when you add children to that mix, it suddenly requires an exorbitant amount of time spent in digital communication. Between emails, school-specific apps, and endless WhatsApp chats, my phone seemingly overnight turned into a command center for my children’s lives. (I am currently using six different apps for my two children. And one of those apps, WhatsApp, has no less than 18 sub-chats related to their specific classes and extracurricular activities. I’m not being hyperbolic - I just counted.)

Gone are the days of a simple letter home in the backpack or a good old-fashioned classroom phone tree. We’re now all privy to real-time communication about everything from school testing schedules to daily photos from teachers to funding requests from room parents to school wide announcements to…everything. 

So, if you’re feeling inundated by all of the parent-based digital communication, welcome to the club. Let’s talk about how digital burnout might be showing up for you and how to navigate it without flipping your lid. 

Is parenting in the modern age causing digital burnout?

Traditional burnout is tied to workload. Digital burnout is the mental and emotional exhaustion that can develop specifically when we spend a lot of time interacting with phones, tablets, computers, and social media. It is just as much tied to the workload itself as it is the way we work and communicate. The signs can be subtle but often involve feelings of anxiety, exhaustion, and apathy caused by spending too much time on devices. You may notice that you are feeling more irritable or impatient after extended screen use. You worry about missing messages and re-check your devices to ensure you haven’t. You feel mentally depleted despite having spent a lot of time “relaxing.” You stay up late using your phone or automatically check it during a middle-of-the-night wake-up. Maybe you even check your device frequently without a specific reason.

There is a unique invisible mental load that comes with all of this digital engagement. Digital burnout can in part stem from a perceived pressure to “always be on.” If you don’t volunteer quickly, then you cannot help in the classroom for an event. If you miss a teacher message, your child may show up to school in their uniform rather than in costume for a spontaneous dress-up day. Or show up to an activity that was canceled unexpectedly due to weather. You get the point. There is a sense of urgency to check our phones frequently given the fear of screwing something up for our children, appearing like an inattentive or inactive parent, or worst of all - both. But all of the checking doesn’t actually relieve us of this fear, as there is always another email, text, or app notification lurking around the corner. Ping!

When digital stimulation starts to crowd out other parts of life, it can affect sleep, physical activity, family interactions, and hobbies. Checking school messages, scrolling social media, answering texts, and managing family logistics from a phone can leave little opportunity for our brains to truly disengage. This can all be a sign that the brain and body need a break from the constant stimulation, notifications, multitasking, and demands of the digital world.

How can we avoid or at least mitigate school-related digital burnout?

I think we can all agree that eliminating screens when it comes to parenting isn’t an option. Nor would most of us opt for that route, even if it were! Let me intentionally digress for a moment. The ease of communication through use of technology is not all curse. When we are first separating from our children, we feel relieved to see photos of dried tears after an emotional drop off. When we have a direct line to our teacher to discuss an issue, we feel pleased to resolve this efficiently and not have to wait for the next parent-teacher conference. When there is an emergency at school, we get notified quickly. As a working parent of children who either can’t (she’s 2) or don’t (he’s 6) share much information about their days, I often feel grateful for the frequent communication I receive. At times, it creates an increased sense of connection with the school community and a more active involvement in my children’s lives, even if often only from afar.

But speed and ease are not always a blessing. Returning from a meeting to see 56 messages from parents confused about a homework assignment is overwhelming. Having to check four different places to find a flyer you think may have been sent home is a total time suck.

So what can we do? Below are ideas for you to consider incorporating if you’re feeling overwhelmed and overrun by digital inundation.

Start with small changes

Rather than declaring a dramatic digital detox, choose predictable screen-free periods, such as during meals, the hour before bedtime, or during family activities. Establish “no fly zones” where you keep devices out of certain parts of your life, such as off the dinner table.

Create intentional opportunities to disconnect and recharge

Put your phone down during times meant for rest and restoration. Do one thing at a time: watch your favorite show while it’s on, talk to your family member when they call. Try not to multi-task on your phone while engaging in otherwise enjoyable moments. You’ll miss the opportunity to fully savor this experience. 

Protect your sleep. Establish consistent times when devices are put away for the night.

And for the love of all things good, refrain from checking emails and messages right before bed. Studies show screen time before bed can cause sleep disturbances, in and of itself. Then add on worry that you may have missed something important or seeing unexpected information, and that’s a recipe to feel very awake when your goal is to wind down. Charging phones and tablets outside the bedroom can help reduce both late-night use and the temptation to check devices.

Consider turning off all non-essential notifications. Silence chats that don’t require your immediate attention. If it’s not a message directly to you from another human being, it probably doesn’t require you to see it or deal with it at that moment. 

Mobilize your support system

If you have a partner, include this person on the chats or ask them to be the primary contact for certain messages so you don’t have the pressure to catch every notification yourself. Alternatively, divide the labor. For instance, one parent fields the extracurricular communications and the other manages school.

Remember: You are the boss of your device

Batch your communications instead of checking your messages and apps whenever alerts appear. Make a plan for checking emails or apps at specific times. Maybe this is once per day, maybe this is for 30 minutes after dinner. This may help you stay in your flow and decrease non-essential interruptions. 

Set hard boundaries. Clearly define when your day ends for parent communication. Once you are “offline,” stay offline. You can check that late night message first thing in the morning. 

Ask yourself if you are taking on too much

Don’t over-commit yourself too early into the year - it’s not only more responsibility, but more chats. You don’t need to be room parent for each kid, each year. You don’t even have to be room parent for any kid during any year! Be intentional about what you volunteer for.

Pull back on over-scheduling your kids. They don’t need to do a different school activity each day. It’s okay to have kids in after school care. It’s okay for them to run around the park or hang at the local library. It’s okay (even great!) for them to experience boredom.

Model the behavior you want to see

Children notice when adults are constantly checking their phones. Creating some screen-free time for yourself sends a powerful message that disconnecting is a normal and healthy part of life.

Also remember it’s okay to mess up. If your kid comes to school empty-handed for the bake sale, it will stink and they will get through it. Model taking responsibility for making a mistake and offering a reasonable repair if needed. It’s okay for your child to feel disappointment, embarrassment, and anger. It can even be a valuable lesson in self-efficacy to see that they can handle unexpected challenges that arise and that the world keeps spinning.

-Sarah Coren, PhD

Thanks to our guest writer, Sarah Coren, PhD. Dr. Coren is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and emotion dysregulation. She works with teens, young adults, and parents in her private practice, CC Psychology, PLLC. She is also a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College.